Hey everybody out there! I know for many of you this time of year includes a break and some down time or a trip. I hope you have/had the opportunity to enjoy that time with close friends and family, especially if you have not connected in a while. That matters so much.
Speaking of close friends and family, a lot of people ask me what was different this time in my weight loss journey. Many of us who have a lot of weight to lose and have tried before and fallen short of our goal or reached it, but then gained the weight back, all have the same fear and question. What do I have to do to sustain a permanent healthy weight? I have spent a lot of time thinking about that, before I started, during the reboot process and since. There is a list of fundamental changes that I made as part of my Reboot journey that are key to my sustainable results. Today, I am going to focus on one that needs to come early in the process. That is deciding to allow someone else to help. This weight loss struggle for me and I think for many of you out there is something that is hard to share. It is a sensitive topic for many of us. I’m sure, like me, you have been on the receiving end of unrequested, well-intended help, not to mention the not so well intended. It is very difficult to say the right thing and so easy to say the wrong thing. It takes trust and an open heart and mind to be ready to share and receive on this topic. Many I have met who struggle with weight are fiercely determined, take on a lot of responsibility, typically follow rules and get results. We are often the “go to” person in some facet of our lives. Independent and capable in so many areas, but struggle to conquer this one. Maybe we’re better at fixing things for others than for ourselves. Maybe we’ve carried a lot of things on our own for many reasons throughout the years and that feels like strength and
determination and not burdening anyone else, especially with this. I know I felt like this was something that I should be able to conquer. I did not go through any physical abuse or horrible tragedy like many who survive and find a way to overcome it. This weight struggle felt like it should be easy to solve, eat less and move more or something like that. I was ashamed and I felt like a failure. I did not want to share those feelings. I thought I needed to do it all alone. I was wrong.
Identifying a trustworthy person or circle of people that you can count on to be there, to keep what you share confidential, to tell you the truth even when it’s hard to say and harder to hear is a key to sustainable weight loss. In some situations, you may benefit greatly from including experts in certain areas whether that be a counselor, pastor, doctor. If you are identifying friends, these are not casual friends, they are people that can handle whatever you need to share and help you carry the weight of it. It may not be something deeply buried or tragic, it may be daily burdens of life, financial stress, a job that is not fulfilling, struggles with kids, spouses, parents, everyday things that we all live with at some point during our lives. While I am grateful
for a large and loving network of family and friends, this type of friendship has not come around often in my life, as I believe should be the case. Rarest of rare and a gift when you find it. We are all human. We need connection. We need others who see us, hear us, and genuinely care about us. The world we live in has made that harder over the past few years when it was already difficult. When going through any major change in your life, it is even more important to have an authentic, reliable, and trustworthy support system. I would have quit a number of times without someone who was willing to be there with me, even though I felt desperate to achieve this goal. I had to accept that I could not do it alone. At first, I found it hard to open up fully and often. Little by little, I opened up more, about whatever was on my mind. Getting it out in a trusted environment vs. swallowing it, both figuratively and literally, helped reduce and eventually eliminate my need to compensate with food or other things to distract, sooth or
temporarily improve my mood. I cannot tell you how grateful I am that God provided the right person at the right time based on where I was on my path. The resulting friendship, a gift well beyond weight loss, is one that I treasure now and always. Allowing someone who can help and always be there is an anchor in the list of changes that I made to conquer this weight issue for the final time. I hope you will find that trusted friend or advisor or several to help you through this journey and any other that you face. It makes all the difference when you allow someone else to
help carry the weight!
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